sorry if i have to put this here..i dont usually do this kind of stuff but i am confused.too confused.sometimes im thinking..is this what you get once you graduate college?when you turned 20?or just me?i think its me..i dont know.before, wearing a smile gives me relief, but nowadays, i still smile but my mind and heart is getting heavier.i laugh but inside im broken.i want to let it out but i got no one to talk to.as in.talk.you know.someone who can response but would not judge.would not comment.just someone who will listen and comfort..someone who can understand me.i cant do this alone anymore. i got no one to lean right now.know what i mean?got no one to cry.no one to hold and no one to make me feel better, i feel so alone. everyone seems busy.i got friends but i don’t think they can focus on me right now.they have their own life.i understand them…but what will i do? Im so scared.things and close people i learned to love and care, became slightly different.maybe because of our daily lives we must attend to..i love them.i miss them, i dont know what happened.did they grew tired of me that’s why they slowly coming out or are they taking a break?but i keep on understanding them.i do understand people around me.i must because i dont want them to leave..this is a true feeling.i just wish they stay with me no matter what…i dont want them to go.its hard to chew and enjoy your food when your mother is beside you saying things like ” wala ka ng ginawang tama sa utos ko e” (youve never done anything right in all of my instruction)..plus, my feelings. i am so tired.my mind’s too exhausted.pressure from review, being alone, dreams,family issues,family,new found friends, to care much bout everything around me. people.being left behind.being clumsy.being focused.friends.family.future.past.present.etc.etc.etc.i cant take it anymore.the moment i am inside the cubicle.burst.its hard.

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